HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

mvlans:

when someone says something so wrong that really pisses you off but you don’t wanna start an argument so you just sit there like

image

cumber-bitches:

but-you-never-get-it-right:

cumber-bitches:

can someone do me a massive favour and photoshop a giraffe so its legs are longer than its neck

image

omg thank you im crying

darrynek:

*dips your opinion in salsa and eats it*

(Source: panerasexual)

professorfangirl:

ultimateventist:

charlesoberonn:

If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

 

However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.

dildoreo:

dildoreo:

one time i took a picture of a tiger at the zoo and the tiger smiled for the picture it was very great and the best picture i’ve ever taken

image

rapunzelie:

the concept of liking someone and them liking you back and you deciding to date each other literally just baffles me because it has never once happened for me in my entire life

how are you all doing this

how are you people making it look so easy

how are you finding people who like you back and want to date you and then actually do it